Time to go Off the Rails

So…looking over my general blog posts so far, they’ve been mostly serious or semi-serious affairs. Yay for intelligent content. But, realistically, I’m a bit more of the mad science sort of intelligence, rather than an academic. As such, I feel it’s high time I went at least a little off the rails. You know, blow up an evil tower with holy water, create a flying dwarf character with neon pink hair, that sort of thing. I considered for a moment revealing my intricate plan to build a dark wizard’s tower someday, complete with designs for how to ensure it always thunderstorms around the tower, and fire-launching catapults that don’t actually burn down towns. I decided, however, that I really didn’t want anyone to steal my plans, so I had to come up with something else.

Nope, today I decided to talk about superpowers.

Not traditional superpowers, but the odd ball ones that a normal, sane person probably wouldn’t consider. If you want to know who to blame for the following, it was a facebook post that described “boob time” as a superpower that slowed reality around women’s chests down(Sorry ladies! Wasn’t my post!). I spent a good fifteen minutes earlier today discussing how this must be related to Hammerspace, and the Speedforce (Don’t ask. Seriously, just don’t ask).

Uncommon but Powerful Super Powers from the mind of Jacen Aster:

Tickle at Range: Seriously, that bad guy is going to have an awful lot of trouble blowing up the city if he or she can’t stop laughing.

Bring Statues to life: Okay, so someone clearly needs to have this power, so that all those traps with moving statues can be set. I’m operating on the assumption that he or she is an immortal freelancer who sells his services to the highest bidder.

Giant Pink Heart Illusions: Even if they do nothing, every bad guy will dodge. The idea of being defeated by a giant pink heart would make them fear for their reputation. From what little I know of Sailor Moon, I assume this is the reason she won all the time.

Summon Cocktail Napkins: Harmless, or perhaps useful only for cleaning. Until, that is, the person with this power realizes they can light them of fire, summon them en masse, or save the rain forest by creating a limitless supply of paper.

Teleport Clothing: Not only can you help your fellow superheroes in an era without phonebooths, but it’s much harder for a man wearing a tutu to take over city hall.

Copy that T.V. Show: In the right or wrong hands, the ability to copy someone or something from the last T.V. Show you watched could be either extremely powerful or incredibly underwhelming. I don’t recommend watching Dancing with the Stars before battle.

Tell When People are Watching You: Sure, you’re going to need a good shrink. Possibly even a team of them! But no one does stealth operations better than you.

See When they are Sleeping: Not only are you the world’s best stalker, but you can tell when the best time to attack the enemy is.

I might add more to this list if I think of this, this is just what I came up with on the fly ^_^.

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