The Essential Components of a Practical Modern Dark Wizard’s Tower

Okay, so my week has been crazy. Including my second Galaxy Note 5 within a year breaking (It’s not me, I swear, it just started randomly spazzing the hell out. I wasn’t even using it, at the time). On that note, I’m never buying a Samsung product again. I’ve thus far purchased three, a tablet, and two models of smartphone. All have failed epically under fairly light use (I used them pretty much for reading and websurfing only, a little bit of Netflix and such).

Anyway, long story short, with a half a dozen issues popping up this week I haven’t had the time to make a properly useful general blog post. So, instead of something useful, you’re getting this:


Clearly, I am not an artist. This does contain super-top-secret hints into my plans for my future Dark Wizard’s Tower, however. The hidden Tesla Coils and fog machines to create my ominous atmosphere. Trebuchets loaded with Flash-Paper and mildly compacted sawdust (so I can launch flaming balls of death at the town, without fear of them actually hitting the ground and lighting the town on fire). Black stone with streaks of backlit quartz (with proper LEDs it will look like either fire or glowing blood). A grand balcony to cackle from. And, of course, a garage. Preferably at least a two-three car garage.

Of course, it doesn’t show the interior or underground spaces. The dungeons, giant rooms of nothing but pillows (hey, hedonism is totally a dark wizard thing!), multi-story library, or the all important auto-turret(loaded with paintballs) for use on annoying neighbors and door-to-door salesmen.

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